Today Jen has slowly slipped into what seems a deep, deep sleep. As the day progressed she became more and more unresponsive. Early this morning she woke Jan by attempting to get out of bed, tonight we are lucky to get a slight nod of her head or squeeze of the hand. The slightest acknowledgment of our voices now gives us the greatest joy. Late this afternoon I was able to get a pucker out of her lips and a quick kiss. Emma visited this evening and spent some precious time in bed with her mom. Ever so slightly, Jen was able to show that she knew Emma was there. Our emotions are torn between heartache and relief. Heartache because we may have shared our last interactive moments with her. Relief because she no longer seems to have pain or discomfort. Slipping away may not seem an appropriate description for it, but at times that is certainly what it feels like.
We will continue to do everything we can to ensure she knows we are at her side and love her. I keep reminding myself that she never ceases to amaze me and I may roll over in the morning to her smiling and wondering aloud who the guests are on Regis and Kelly.
There was one bit of good news today. Some of you may remember me speaking of last year's visit with Dr. Henry Lynch at Creighton University. He is the founder of the gene mutations that cause hereditary colon cancers. A lab has been doing some genetic testing on Jen's blood and Dr. Lynch's nurse said that two of the three tests are complete and there is no evidence of a mutation thus far. This is potentially great news for Jen's brothers and our children. The final results should be in my hands sometime in February.
Here is a picture I came across today on my computer. It took me back to a time when cancer was the furthest thing from our minds. I know the message is strong without me even saying...but I'll do it anyway...Live and love like there is no tomorrow.