This is the three of us smiling on Monday. I know I was kind of down Sunday night, but I want everyone to know that more often than not we are doing well. I appreciate all the words of encouragement. I really do draw a lot of comfort in knowing that Jen is where we all ultimately strive to be. Those down days are usually a result of fatigue, selfish sorrow, and the vivid memories of her final three weeks.
Peighton has been pretty sick since late last week, but seems to be doing better. In fact, she actually slept through the night last night. This was very comforting to me since I hopped on a plane this morning for a business trip to New Jersey. I was worried she'd still be feeling awful and I'd be leaving her and Emma for three days.
I guess you could say that I'm back on the road again. It was kind of weird landing on each leg of my two flights and not being able to call Jen and tell her I was on the ground. However, it is nice to call home and talk to the girls about their day and tell them goodnight. They had a great time today with my dad (Papa Dan)...I think he'd do it everyday if he could.
I hope everyone's week is going well!
Cute Picture Chris. I'm so glad to see you all smiling. My continued prayers and thoughts are with you and your family to make each day a little better than the next.
Posted by: Sarah Hunter | February 27, 2007 at 09:33 PM
Dear Chris,
Your sorrow is not selfish. The only way to the other side of grief is to go through it. It is good to see 3 smiling faces on your post. You are doing a great job taking care of your little princesses. Be sure to take care of yourself, too. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Cheryl
Posted by: cheryl casement | February 27, 2007 at 10:32 PM
Chris~
What a sweet picture! It seems to me that you're doing a WONDERFUL job of taking care of your family. I hope you enjoy the rest of your business trip.
Posted by: Jennifer | February 27, 2007 at 10:46 PM
Keep up the good work with those precious girls -- those smiles are priceless!!
Posted by: Little Angels Mom | February 27, 2007 at 10:52 PM
What a beautiful picture of your family Chris!
I am sitting her typing and retyping something to say to you...but everything I say sounds silly. I have never experienced a loss like yours, nor do I know how I would react if I did. I feel that giving you advice seems inappropriate in some ways because I have never walked a day in your shoes. What I do know is that I watched my daughter's life almost pass in front of my very eyes in the Emergency Room at Children's Mercy. I vividly remember smells, doctors, nurses, specific events, and how traumatic the entire experience was, especially when they told us our daughter may die. I still think about what happened to my baby, and although she is sleeping soundly in the other room, I still feel a great deal of sadness for the experience she endured...and I endured while watching her suffer. I let myself cry when I think about it and I feel a sense of relief when the thought passes. My hope is for you to do the same. Feel the sadness and sorrow, and know that it is never selfish. I also hope that the memories of Jen's last three difficult weeks will fade and be overshadowed by all of the amazing times you had together.
Take care of yourself and those beautiful baby girls!
Tracy Kempf
Posted by: Tracy K. | February 27, 2007 at 11:36 PM
Hi Chris, I was up studying for a test! You know, "last minute studying". Im begining to be such a slacker or maybe just a procrasinator :). I figured i would check your blog and see what you were up to. I love the picture of you and the girls. I bet Jen would be really proud of that picture because they were looking up at the camera haha :) I love the girls outfits! i saw some similar to those at Old navy! I hope your business trip is going well for you. I bet you miss your girls and cat :) Well i hope you and your family have a good week!
Posted by: Shanna Ludwig | February 28, 2007 at 01:18 AM
Chris,
I would imagine you are the only one to think your 'bad days' are a result of selfish sorrow. It is completely natural and human to have those days. Quit being so hard on yourself! :)
It looks as though the girls remain happy and in one piece! I'm sure your doing a wonderful job with them!
I was driving yesterday evening looking at the sunset and was thinking of Jen, you, and your girls. Suddenly, "When I Get Where I'm Going" comes on the radio. I had to change the station...my girls were in the backseat and I didn't want to answer questions about me crying. There is another sign Jen is is heaven looking over you!
Have a good week!
Alaina
Posted by: Alaina | February 28, 2007 at 07:49 AM
Hi Chris,
It is wonderful to see the beautiful smiles on your girls. You are doing a fascinating job of picking up and getting on a routine with your girls! Keep it up you are doing awesome!
Posted by: Tiffani | February 28, 2007 at 09:08 AM
Chris,
That is a great picture of the three of you. Your girls are beautiful!
Posted by: Amanda True | February 28, 2007 at 09:09 AM
The girls look adorable!
Posted by: Tiffany in SC | February 28, 2007 at 09:13 AM
Chris, you are the most unselfish man I think that most people have ever seen so I don't think you should consider your sorrow selfish. How awesome you are to be so strong and such a wonderful father. How lucky your girls are. Keep taking those steps even when it feels like you can't. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Posted by: Alicia | February 28, 2007 at 09:21 AM
Chris,
By looking at the picture of you and your girls, you can just tell you are doing an amazing job. I do not know you personally, but I have learned through this blog that you are anything but "selfish." Just keep doing what you are doing. By looking at the girls....their bright eyes, their big smiles, we can all see how much you mean to them and how much love is in your house. Jen would be so proud of you. Thank you for keeping us posted on how you are doing...you remain in my daily thoughts and prayers.
Carrie
Posted by: Carrie | February 28, 2007 at 09:28 AM
So glad that you are keeping us all updated on you and the girls...you guys are in my thoughts and prayers every single day!
Posted by: Jenna Hill | February 28, 2007 at 09:48 AM
Chris, So glad to see the cute picture of you and the girls. I have followed your blog and want you to know that I think you are one amazing father and husband. You are doing a great job. Your sorrow is natural and I am glad you are able to have this blog to come to during those times. Keep your head up and reach over and pat yourself on the back you certainly deserve it. You have given nothing but love to Jen and your daughters and that is so very important to all.
Posted by: Kelli | February 28, 2007 at 10:31 AM
Through reading this blog, I can tell that you are anything but selfish! You have shown so much courage, compassion, maturity, responsibility and love that I can almost guarantee you that everyone who reads this admires you and is in awe of your strength and faith! Your girls are so precious. I love that you continue to update the blog and I admire the relationship you have with your family and Jen's family as you all come together to raise these girls and keep their beautiful mother's memory alive.
Posted by: Avery | February 28, 2007 at 11:08 AM
Chris,
You are doing a fabulous job with those little girls! It's great to see eveyone smiling. Jen would be so proud.
I added a link to Jen's foundation on my MySpace page and have encouraged all of my friends to purchase bracelets. Keep us updated on events and such.
Keep smiling, that's what Jen would want.
Posted by: Crystal | February 28, 2007 at 12:18 PM
Your girls are beautiful!
Your family is continuously in my thoughts and prayers.
- Kayce Davis
Posted by: Kayce Davis | February 28, 2007 at 12:20 PM
Hello Chris just wanted to tell you that you are doing a great job! the pic is great. I talked with you a bit yesterday about Tims unit and they are ready to start wearing them as a platoon over there. Again like I have told you before Jen is looking down smiling at what a great job you are doing. Keep up the good work. We will be in Kansas City soon i cant wait to be home. hugs to the girls
Posted by: Misty Thacker and the 3-82 FA guys in Iraq | February 28, 2007 at 12:34 PM
Angels' arms around you as you muddle through the everyday. God Bless!
Posted by: Kristal | February 28, 2007 at 01:01 PM
I remember when my little brother died when I was 9. I asked my mother "Will we ever be happy again?" I think I caught her off guard, but in the midst of her grief as the mother she said "yes we will." and we were.
this picture is great, always remember to smile and keep going, it will get easier even though you don't want it to sometimes.
God bless.
Posted by: Paige | February 28, 2007 at 02:05 PM
Wow, you are such a handsome man and Jen is such a Beautiful young women and together you have created two very precious little angles. It is always nice too open the blog and see pictures of the girls but it is extra special too see you smiling as well. Have a safe business trip this week in Jersey!
Posted by: Dawn | February 28, 2007 at 02:39 PM
Hi Chris
Unfortunately I didn't follow your blog until the very end when I heard about it on the radio but as soon as I got to work I had to read it, and I did from the beginning to the end and I continue to read it each day. I've been wanting to say something for a while but just really didn't know what to say(still really don't but wanted to) but I look forward to reading your blog and like so many others feel as though I know your family and am so happy you have continued with the blog. Your girls are SO incredibly lucky to have a father like you and the beautiful smiles on their faces show that they know that. Hope you are having a good business trip and your family is always in my prayers.
Posted by: Joyce | February 28, 2007 at 02:41 PM
I was very happy to find I had been sent a bracelet over the weekend. Now I have a wonderful reminder everyday and when people ask why I'm wearing it, I'll tell them your family's story. P.S. The bracelet's colors were my wedding colors. Jen did have good taste.
Posted by: Molly | February 28, 2007 at 02:59 PM
What beautiful smiles, I'm glad to see you get back in the swing of things. Just remember, getting back to life does not mean she is forgotten - she is why you go on. Blessings to you and the girls as always.
Take care~
Posted by: Deborah | February 28, 2007 at 07:49 PM
Dear Chris, Jan & Family,
I'm another one that is happy that you are still with us in the blogs. I log on several times a day to check in and read how you all are doing. What a beautiful picture of you and your precious little girls. They are so blessed to have such a caring and loving daddy as you are. You are doing such a great job and I know Jen is smiling down on you and your family. I'm glad you got the girls a kitty and I know they will enjoy it a lot.
Jan, if you get some time, let us know how you are doing. I pray for you all every day. God bless you and keep you in his care. Peggy
Posted by: Peggy Patrick | February 28, 2007 at 10:58 PM