Our angel...

My wife, Jennifer Claire Ireland, took her last breath around 2:40 this morning.  As I looked over and saw her chest no longer rising and falling, relief was the overwhelming emotion...no more pain, no more suffering.  As much as it hurts, I can quickly draw comfort from knowing that she is at heaven's gates.

As I walked out of the hospital and to the car - Jen's car - the thought of now having to face our girls weighed heavily on me.  I started the cold car and at that moment playing on the radio was John Mayer's song "Daughters."  It is no coincidence that I was hearing an artist that Jen and I shared as our favorite - going back to our wedding day when we found his first CD in the stereo of our honeymoon suite.  I had my first sign from Jen that everything will be alright.  She is with me.  She is with us.

Comments

[Jan Velander]

Dear God,
Please welcome my precious daughter into your loving arms and hold her tightly until I can hold her once again.
Love,
Her mom

[Sarah]

Praying for each of you to find comfort in knowing you will never be alone...she will always be with you.

[Sarah]

....also, that is a wonderful picture!

Thanks again Chris for keeping me in the loop through this BLOG...it means alot living so far from someone I care so much about.

[Haley]

I am so happy that Jennifer has found peace in God's arms. She is well now...no more sickness. I know that she is looking down with a smile on her face. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Williams Family]

Praying for you & Jan, the girls, and the rest of the family. I am so glad your wife is not suffering anymore - that must be a huge relief to you. Stay strong and positive for yourself and the girls.

[Lisa Anderson]

I could not get your family off of my mind after reading your story for the first time yesterday. Jennifer has ispired my in ways I cannot describe. Chris, my prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for your courage. You are the kind of husband the scriptures talk about.

Lisa

[Dustin Ireland]

Words can't express how you have so deeply touched our lives Jen. You single handedly made this a better place and it WILL NOT be the same without your loving heart and precious smile...

I love you sis.

[Dawn]

Dear Chris and Jan,

We are so sorry for the loss of such a beautiful woman. I gave this to my best friend when she lost her Mum last year when we were visiting with Harper and Tracy. I couldn't be with her but she said that this gave her comfort. I know that it's long and I apologise for that. Your story has touched the hearts of hundreds and thousands of people and Jen will always be an angel...

Love from Wales, Dawn and Glyn xx

If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But if tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

[Amy]

It saddens me to hear that she's left this world, and comforts me at the same time, to know that she's finally free of all the pain. Even though I never knew her, it still feels as though I've lost a friend. I know I share this feeling with thousands of people across the world, who have come to "know" you, Jen and your family. But it's a beautiful gift that she's still all around you. You haven't lost your best friend. She'll be with you always. I'm so glad the signs are there. And I'm so glad that you know it's her. I hope that you will continue your blog even though Jen has passed. Just as we let her into our hearts, so to have we let you and your family into our hearts. You have a new and very large "extended family" that is ready to help you cope and hold you up. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Kathy]

Chris,
I am so sorry for your loss. Your writing has been a beautiful tribute to your wife and your life together. However brief, you were blessed with the love of your life. I hope you can take solace in that and find peace and joy each time you look into the faces of your precious daughters.

[Becky]

I read the blog for the first time last night and went to bed with a very heavy heart knowing that Jen's time was near and that God was going to take her home. Even though I have never met any of you it is unreal the courage and strength that all of you had especially Jen. Every picture posted even the ones as early as Christmas she still had a beautiful smile on her face. Jen is whole again without pain. I do not believe in coincidences either and I do believe that Jen was with you this morning Chris letting you know everything is going to be ok.

God bless all of you and you are so lucky that you have two beautiful daughters who have their mothers beautiful smile.

[mandi]

Fly high sweet angel Jen.

[Sherri]

peace

[Kimberly Geswein]

My heart breaks with you and for you. I am so sorry for your loss, Chris. Please rest in the strength of God's promises for you and for Jen. An eternity in His presence is her reward for her faith. And He's not letting go of you either, He's with you through every tear, every heartache, every moment you hurt.

[Barb Fillinger]

All of you, Jen, Chris, Jan, all of your wonderful family and friends, have fought the valiant fight. My deepest sympathy goes to you all for your loss.

There’s no better advice than that you quoted from Jen to Robin in your 2/2/07 post. The most important thing is to lean on God. He will not fail you. Trust Him for that.

I, and undoubtedly many, many others, will be praying for you all.

Love,
Barb

[Dee]

Jen is free of pain and tears. What a wonderful sign she sent that all is well Chris. I am a strong believer in signs and I hope that your heart has less sadness knowing that she is safe and will be with all of you forever.

God be with all of your weary hearts and give you comfort.

God bless you,
Dee

[Mike and Jennifer Reyes]

Chris
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. As we sat in mass last night I could not quit thinking of your family and difficult time you are facing. May the comfort of the lord get you and your family this is difficult time. As you said in one of the earlier blogs entries the roles are now reversed and she is watching over you, Emma and Peighton and her family and friends. May God bless you all.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever.

Amen.

Jan
Seeing you taking care of Bob at church on Sundays and now having to cope through Jennifer's illness. This is been a reminder to me that we must not always take things for granted. My mother was diagnosed with an illness that gives her bad days from time to time and seeing your love for your family reminds me of my mother and how precious life really is. May Gob bless you.

I believe in God, the father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

[Mom in Overland Park]

Chris, Jan, and Family,

My heart broke when I checked the blog this morning, but then I felt some peace knowing that Jen was not suffering any more. Even though I don't know any of you, I feel that I do. I have been lucky to share your lives and will think and pray for you daily.

[Angie McKay]

She is in God's loving hands. Our love and prayers are with all of you.

[Dinah Wonderly]

God Bless you and your family through this trial and painful time. Jen is warm and safe and pain free as you mourn. Bless your girls and known you have touched the world with your blog. We are grateful. Love to you all. Dinah

[Jean Hill]

Christ , Jan, preciousl little girls, and all the Ireland/Bles/Velander family:

Rest now for Jen's battle has been won in eternity. She is in Glory, clothed in a perfect body free from cancer.

Your journey continues and the same Holy Spirit that strengthened your family over the last 15 months; will help you through each day, each moment. There is joy still to come even in the shroud of loss and the uncertainty of the future.

May all of you be filled with God's abiding love, peace, and grace. The sun is shining this morning, and Jen watches over you now.

Let the prayers of thousands lift you up.

Jean

[Lisa Keeffe]

I hope that soon you can feel the peace that Jen feels! Take care of those precious little girls and let them know everyday how much their mommy loved them! What a wonderful husband you are Chris, a wonderful mom you are Jan and a wonderful mom and grandma those girls have! You have captivated an entire audience with your love for Jen. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us! May God continue to bless your life with love and help you to find happiness once again! Lisa

[amy copple]

Jen-I will miss you like crazy, but I know that you now are an angel flying high watching over your beautiful girls.
Chris, Jan & family- I'm sorry for your loss. Know that you will never be alone, your angel will be by your side.You are in my prayers. Peace & comfort be with you through this difficult time.

Love,
Amy Copple

[Donna]

Chris and family, may you find strength in your love for each other in this impossible time. Your girls are lucky to have such an amazing dad on earth and such a wonderful angel protecting them from above.

[Laura]

I am sorry about the loss of your best friend, wife, and a mom of 2 beautiful little ones. I have read your story since hearing it on Mix 93. You truly are the best husband a girl could ask for. Thanks for keeping us updated on Jen. She truly is an insipiration to all of us and her memory will not be forgotten. Jen is in a better place with no more pain. Keep her memory alive. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.