Following up one good day with another was what we all want for Jen and today it happened. Whereas yesterday was a good day because she was able to clean up and see various family members and friends, today was a good day because she was able to get a lot of good rest. She deserved the rest today, especially after some late night bladder issues which resulted in the insertion of a urinary catheter. While Jen snoozed and sometimes snored under the watchful eye of Ginelle Ries, Jan, Dennis, Tina, and I all got out of the hospital for a little while. I headed home and spent some time with Peighton before I surprised Emma by picking her up from school. Emma and I headed out to the mall where we ate lunch at the food court, rode the giant merry-go-round, and shopped at the Disney Store. Back at the hospital this evening Jen made everyone's day. While sitting on the edge of the bed eating a little jello and ice cream, Jen and I schemed up a surprise for those sitting in the family room across the hall. With the help of her nurse Laura (whom we love!) we loaded up Jen in a wheel chair and rolled across the hall and into the room. The last thing Jan, Jordan, and a few others expected was to see Jen roll in for a visit. Jordan -- 23 today -- called it the best birthday present ever.
I also want to briefly talk about miracles. I'm a firm believer in God's ability to create them at his will, and I do think that he has not sold us short in Jen's case. I keep remembering back to December 23rd, 2005 when we were delivered the news that Jen had cancer in her abdomen. Although I cannot imagine how it felt for Jen, I do know that at that moment I felt my heart stop and my mind spin to the point I thought I would faint. After further testing, the prognosis would have seemed close to hopeless. Stage IV cancer in the abdomen...a tumor that had grown so large that it literally exploded and seeded itself on every abdominal surface...nodules of disease anchored into one of the most vital organs in the body, the liver...and no local doctor able to speak confidently about their ability to operate. One year later, we were celebrating another Christmas with Jen. That, to me, is a miracle. Many people die suddenly and loved ones anguish for not having the opportunity to say their final I'm Sorry's and I Love You's. We have every hour of every day until her final breath to tell her how much we love her. That, to me, is also a miracle.
Many have posted comments with inspiring scripture, poems, or quotes. Tonight I'll post a song. It's one of a handful of songs that my brother, my dad, and I found special meaning in following my mom's death. It also has a little to do with the fact that she was a big Garth Brooks fan...
Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart
If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel
So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
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