Peaceful...

There was some finality to my post last night and I did not intend to write again until the moment Jen's body gives into the cancer.  But in this most difficult time of her battle, I realized that we need to read and feel your supportive comments just as you need to know how she is doing.  We hang on your every comment, just as many of you hang on our every post.  Compelled to comment or not, we are able to see the unbelievable number of people checking on Jen via the blog everyday.  That number is in the thousands and it is a reflection of the number of prayers spoken, tears shed, and lives touched. Who would have thought that such an impersonal means of communication would become one of the most personal and important parts of our lives?  Thank you for caring so much.

Jen is sleeping peacefully tonight and has been doing so for most of the day.  She wakes up throughout the day and carries on mini-conversations, tells the nurses what she needs, smiles and waves at visitors, and then drifts back to sleep.  Today Dr. Pluenneke stopped in to have a very important talk with her.  With Jan, Dennis, Tina, and I present, he let Jen know that there is no longer anything that can be done to treat her cancer.  They now want keep her as comfortable as possible because she will not be with us much longer.  He encouraged her not to be afraid and that, although he has no answers for why, he knows that God wants her back with him.  He was very compassionate and very comforting in what he said.  Of course Jen was very upset -- because now her greatest fear was being acknowledged as reality by her doctor.  He asked her if she still wanted to fight and her answer was yes.  For that reason, he said she will have days, maybe even weeks left with us.  She needs to allow the doctors and nurses to help her fight so that she may rest.  Following a prayer and a lot of tears, she composed herself and thanked Dr. Pluenneke for all that he has done.  Throughout the rest of the day she has been very comfortable and continues to be the sweetest patient I'm sure this hospital will ever see.

Comments

[Dinah Wonderly]

Chris, I have followed this blog for months it seems, since the KC Star article. You and yours are so brave and many prayers and tears have come from me for you. All of us pray for you and Jen that the pain is over and she will feel even more now God's great love and plan for her. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us and keeping us informed throughout this difficult time. We love you and pray for you and your girls. God Bless you. Dinah

[Randy, Shelley, Rachel and Chloe Huskins]

Chris, thank you so much for the update on Jen. I have started my day, for just over a year now, with this blog page. Tapping into the courage Jen has shown. Peeking in on all the pictures, watching your girls grow in the background, and seeing how you have dealt with this unplanned turned in the road of life. You and Jen have touched so many. Given so many courage. Given so many a purpose of prayer. You have both shown what beautiful people you are. You have taken this private life event and allowed all of us to feel like we have helped in some way by stopping and praying for Jen. Not one prayer wasted! I know Jen will find peace. The four of you have touch so many, I also pray that you will find peace and comfort in that.

[Cindy]

I don't know Jen or your family, but I have been touched by her fight and the families courage. As the Mom of two young girls it has just ripped my heart out how Jen must feel leaving her two babies and wonderful husband. I know, just from reading this journal, that the girls will be loved and taken care of - but there is no love like a Mother's love. My prayers are being sent for Jen's comfort and peace for the family. Jen you have shown amazing courage in your fight. God bless all of you.

[Betty Hughes]

I pray that Jen continues to remain comfortable and free from the pain she's endured for so long and with such courage. She's an incredible woman, wife, mother, and daughter who has shown all of us how courageous and determined one can be in the face of such a horrible disease. I've read her blog often, as I know many others have. Her battle with cancer has touched many lives and we've become closely connected with your family through the website. You have such a tremendous, supportive family and darling little girls. My prayers are with your entire family. Your continued faith and strength has inspired us all and your inner beauty will be remembered always. May God bless you and give you comfort.

[Melodie Chrisman]

Chris and Jan & Family, I am in such awe of how you guys are holding up. Chris you are right about people wanting to hear from you and how this has become such a familiar place to pray for Jen for so many. Many tears have been shed but what I see most is how much love you have stirred up, how much hope you have given families!!!! What a legacy You and Jen have created. Jan, I am looking forward to giving you a big hug soon and know I love you so dearly friend.

[Paulette Clements]

I have followed Jen's battle daily since finding out about her through Dana Velander's site last year. I have loved reading about family birthdays, the Hawaii trip, and the girls. Yesterday I was so sad to read the entry. I called my friend to ask her to read your blog and to pray for your family. THANK YOU so much for keeping us updated. I know it must be hard. This morning I am praising the Lord for a doctor who understands we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and that God is in control.I now get what you have been saying about the quality of doctors you have had . Not just gifted with the knowledge of medicine but also blessed by the Holy Spirit.Please let us know your specific prayer needs. For now we will pray for that "peace that passes understanding".Love and Blessings from Louisville, KY

[Lori Bles]

I admire your strength and courage. I hope and pray that Jennifer is comfortable. She is lucky to be surrounded by such amazing and strong people in her time of need. Your whole family has touched so many people. I am honored to have such an amazing cousin. May God bless you and be with you.

[Tiffany]

Chris,

You don't know me, but I am one of the many people out there praying for you and your sweet family. Like Jen, I am a young mother. When I read your story I was so touched and quickly added you into my prayers.

I recently read this and felt it may bring you comfort.

"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no different in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was: there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well." (Henry Scott Holland)

God bless you all.

[Anna Rose and Francis]

May God's strength sustain you through this difficult time. Our love and prayers are sent your way. We will always cherish the many happy memories we have of good times.

[Dee Montee]

Chris: Each day is started checking in on Jen. All of us were praying for her to stay with us for a much longer time. When I read how many people are writing into your blog Jen, I realized how your struggle and story has touched and brought all of us together in prayer - what an accomplishment for such a young lady. I am so glad to know that your doctor talked to you about the Lord and not to be afraid - his belief and compassion is another reflection of how you continue to bring out the power of the Lord in all of us. May the Lord help you to remember all of the blessings of your life - especially your great, loving Mother,your loving and caring husband, and two precious little girls, and all of your family members and friends. We all love you Jen and pray for your comfort and peace of mind.

Chris, I cannot thank you enough for continuing to let all of us know what is happening with Jen. I know that many of these messages were very hard for you to send - your strength and dedication to Jen is to be greatly admired.

God be ever so close to you,
Dee

[Susan Rodriguez]

I am a friend of Jan and Bob's (my sister is Jan Castle) I am praying for Jen's comfort and that she is at peace! You have wonderful children and great surroundings will do wonders! Praying everyday for you and the family! God with with you all throught these final days together!

[janet]

Hi, I've been checking this site since mid Dec. I'm overtaken by the fighting spirit Jen has and even now continues with. That fight is right and good. I've also been overtaken with comments about "God's time for her to go" or "God's calling her", etc. There is another way and a whole different perspective and one that does not go against the profound fight God Himself has put in Jen for such a time as this. Jen is God's provision for you- Chris, and your girls-Jen is God's first choice. God does not take away His provisions. Jen is fighting so hard -not because she is fighting so hard against God "calling" her home, but because she's being stolen from plans for her here in this life. God is an ever present help and faith feeds that power- He is a God who heals. If Jen leaves this world- He will recieve her up in His awesome arms and He will provide for you and your children and He will comfort you, but as long as she is breathing God's power is at work right here on the earth on her behalf and fighting is right- Don't give up the fight if there's a chance He's not calling and a chance He is fighting for her to win here and now in this life- He is a God who does the impossible and the out of the ordinary and the miraculous! Jen, keep up the fight. Fighting in faith with you.

[Kim (McNally) Laws]

As I sit hear watching the sun rise, I'm brought to tears thinking of all the good times we had, the laughs that brought us all to tears, the most intimate talks friends could have and the memories that will be with me forever. I sit here wondering how this could have happened to such a wonderful person and why this had to be in God's plan for you and your family. It brings comfort knowing that Jen will soon be with our heavenly Father, although I know we all wish she could be here with her family for just a little longer.

I know every minute she still has on Earth will be a cherished moment and I pray that she will remain comfortable throughout.

Jen, you are an amazing person and a true inspiration to us all. I pray that you can find some peace. Miracles happen every day so if you have the strength to fight..FIGHT!

My prayers are always with you!

[Jennifer Slaughter]

Even though I do not know your family personally, I feel connected to your family. I have been following your story in the KC Star, and wanted to let you know that you all are in my thughts and prayers. We may never know why God choose Jen to have cancer. Please know that I will continue to pray for you in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.

[Julie Marriott]

I am holding on to the hope that where you are going is so far beyond our imagination. It has been said that "No eye has seen and no ear has heard all that God has prepared for those who love Him". Put your trust in Him sweet girl. He has a beautiful mansion prepared just for you. Let your fears be put at rest for there will be a glorious reunion one day.
Love you so very much!
Julie

[Bill and Andee Carr]

Chris:

Thank you for the update. You are truly a brave man and Jen is in good hands. May God continue to give you, Jan and all the others surrounding Jen right now the strength needed to continue the fight. Jen will not give up because she loves you all so much. We continue to pray for a miracle, but know it is in God's hands. He is a peaceful and loving God that will never forsake you. We love you all!
Bill and Andee

[Jennifer Wene]

You are all in my thoughts and prayers, especially today. Your strength and courage has touched the lives of everyone that I have asked to pray for you. May God bless you, Jennifer

[Donna Swaffar]

Chris and Jen,
I just learned of your story today. Cancer is just so unfair, and I know there are no words that can ease the pain and sorrow you are feeling. May you find strength in your family and friends as you continue this difficult journey.

[Christy]

I only recently found this blog from another site. But I wanted you to know that I am praying for your entire family. I pray that Jen will have a peaceful journey to be with our Lord.

[Terri Gatton]

Even though I do not know your family, I have been following the blog since Julie H. at work told us about Jens story. I come to work everyday and the first thing I do, is check on Jen. She's an incredible woman, wife, mother, and daughter who has shown all of us how courage and strength one can have in the face of such a horrible disease. Her battle with cancer has touched many lives. You have such a very supportive family and darling little girls. My prayers are with your entire family. Your continued faith and strength has inspired us all and her inner beauty will be remembered always. May God bless you and give you comfort.

Jan, I have a daughter of my own and the strength you have shown is incredible. You are a very strong, amazing mom.

[Lindsey Reed (Nelson)]

My thoughts and prayer are with your family. I pray that you may find peace and comfort in God's amazing love at this difficult time. Enjoy the moments you have with Jen. Take comfort in knowing that God has prepared a better place for Jen.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope"
Jeremiah 29:11

[Rylina Danley]

Chris and Jen, I just found out about your story yesterday from a dear friend of mine who has been reading your blog sinceit was in the KC Star. I ended up spending half of the day catching up and I am just so touched by your courage, your strength, your openess and your deep faith. I have sent the link on to many others and now the prayers for you are even greater. My son, Bradley, attends Little Angels as well but he isn't in your daughter's class. That part hit so close to home for me and I just can't even imagine what you all must be going through. My heart hurts for all of you but I am encouraged so much by your words, your faith and your actions. You have touched so many lives and I know you will continue to do so forever. My prayers are with all of you and thank you for sharing your lives with all of us. I think you guys have made so many people have faith and realize how important prayer and believing in the All mighty is. May God continue to bless all of you.

[Jackie Dorman]

Chris and Jan,
My heart goes out to you during this extremely difficult time. Although it seems odd, Jen's passing will also hold many beautiful memories to cherish for the rest of your lives. The love she gives each of you and the peace that will come over her when it is time to go cannot be put in words.

During my Dad's battle with cancer, he never feared dying but fighting cancer scared him. I learned during this battle that he had a near death experience when I was five. He was a reserved man and only shared information when we "needed" to know it and I didn't need to know it until he was at the end of his life. His calm and words about death have brought me much comfort as I have said good bye to my Dad, my uncle and recently my 21 year old nephew, Jesse. He didn't say a lot about death but did say it is the most incredible feeling and a complete peace and calm. It wasn't the words he used but the way he looked as he said it that brings me strength.

I know that Jen will meet my Jesse soon and I am sure they will have a wonderful time waiting for the rest of us to join them. My understanding is that in Heaven the time to wait is so much shorter than it feels here. Jesse also knew Dr. Pluenneke. He actually watched his kids for him and his wife Dr. Davis. I wish we could see the meeting when Jen is welcomed home.

My heart hurts, the tears pour yet I also rejoice for Jennifer and the greatest journey that she is preparing to take.

Jan, call my cell if you get a chance - 816-694-0501.

I love you all and wish I could take some of the pain that you feel but know that is not possible.

[sue]

Chris, Jen and I have been emailing each other for awhile. I also have colon cancer and am on treatments. She gave me so much comfort even though she herself was fighting so hard. I hope I was able to help her in some small way through our conversations.

[Shannon Martin]

Chris and Jen,
Though we have never met,you have been in my constant thoughts and prayers. Both of you must be remarkable people with a purpose greater than you realize. Thank you for the strength and courage you show all of us. May God grant his glorious blessings on your beautiful family during this difficult time. I will continue to pray for you all.
Fondly,
Shannon Martin