I'm sitting here late this evening with my good friend Chris Hoffman. Just out of curiosity we checked the "traffic" statistics for the blog today. The past 24 hours have resulted in almost 13.000 hits. That is absolutely unbelievable.
First thing this morning Dr. Pluenneke arrived to visit with Jen. This is his week for rounds with the KC Cancer Center patients here at the hospital. His observations were that Jen's condition hasn't worsened significantly since early last week. Her young heart and lungs are putting up quite a battle. He suggests that Jen could feasibly be with us for several more weeks. He also suggested that Jen's parents and I start to pace ourselves before we become "walking zombies". Jan and I seem to be coming down with some sort of respiratory illness and he wants us to take care of ourselves. We will definitely consider his advice and try to get out of the hospital a little more frequently over the course of the next few days. At the same time, we want to maximize our time spent with Jen even if the majority of that time we are watching her sleep.
Today was a little rougher for Jen than the past three days. The pain medications and rising bilirubin level in her body create confusion, anxiety, and hallucinations. For some reason, today the anti-anxiety medicines weren't quite as effective. Dr. Pluenneke and his pharmacist Monika tweaked her medications in an effort to maintain some consistency in her comfort level. As of now she is constantly receiving a slow drip of Ativan and a steady dose of fentanyl from a PCA (patient controlled analgesia) pump. This pump also allows her to push a button for an additional boost of pain medicine when necessary. She is receiving saline via IV to sustain a minimal fluid level in her body. She also receives some "as needed" medications: Actigal (to aid in biliary flow), Toradol along with Benadryl (for inflammation), a steroid, Haldol (to eliminate hallucinations), Lexapro (antidepressant to aid in her comfort), colace to help her bowels, and some additional medications to treat a bladder infection and eliminate a constant urge to urinate. Most of her medications are delivered through her Port-a-Cath which was surgically inserted shortly after her diagnosis. She is receiving four liters of oxygen at all times and has a urinary catheter in. One of the most disturbing things a visitor might see is the bag this catheter drains into. Her urine is no longer what we would typically expect to see, rather it is the color of blood. This is the result of some blood in her urine, discoloration due to medications, and poor processing due to a damaged liver and kidneys. Although she is hooked up to all this equipment and her body is badly bloated due to swelling and fluid retention, nobody who enters her room can miss how beautiful she still looks. Even the janitorial lady smiles at her everyday as she cleans up the room and comments how young and beautiful Jen is.
Hi Chris and Family,
I was prompted to read you blog through a friend of mine (and relative of yours) at the University of Alabama. I am so sorry that your family is going through such a difficult time like this. I can only imagine the pain and heartache you all must feel.
Your blog has been very inspirational to me. I can truly feel the love you have for your wife in the way that you write. I am a few years younger than Jen, and her story has captured emotions in me that I forgot existed.
Your story has reminded me that we never know how long we have with the ones we love. I will forever be grateful.
Please be strong during this most difficult time...I will be praying for you and your precious girls.
--Amanda N. Rambo
Posted by: Amanda | January 29, 2007 at 11:54 PM
Jen, Chris, Jan & Family,
Tonight as I am sitting here reading this I feel overwhelmed to tell you how inspiring you all are! It is truly comforting to read this. The love that you all share comes out and is felt by everyone who reads this!
Jan is my daughter's teacher and as much as we miss her I am very thankful that she is able to be there. Jan is such an inspiring, amazing woman. I can only imagine that Jen is like her.
Chris you are a remarkable man. Jen and her entire family are blessed to have you! Thank you for being so diligent and sharing Jen's story with all of us.
I'm so very sorry that things have taken this turn. I have shared your story with everyone I know, and we all are praying for the entire family. May God bless you all and bring peace and comfort to you.
God Bless,
Angela
Posted by: Angela Leakey | January 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
To all of you,
Thinking of you and praying for you every waking moment.
Sending my love!
Jackie Dorman
Posted by: Jackie Dorman | January 30, 2007 at 12:06 AM
Dear Chris,
I, too, have been inspired and deeply touched by the incredible challenge you and your amazing wife have endured. The devotion, faith and powerful love that you have for her and the Lord is immeasurably beautiful. God bless and continue to comfort your entire family as you walk this difficult journey.
Love,
Val Goff (a St. John La Lande parishioner)
Posted by: Val | January 30, 2007 at 02:08 AM
What an answer to prayer to know that you could possibly have an extension with Jen. I know every minute is precious. I will be praying that you and Jan will be able to balance caring for yourselves as well as caring for Jen.
Love you so much!
Julie
Posted by: Julie Marriott | January 30, 2007 at 07:38 AM
We continue to think about your family and pray for you often throughout each day. May you continue to be blessed by miracles and memories each day that you share together. Sending prayers your way.
Andrea and Aaron
Posted by: Andrea Toney | January 30, 2007 at 07:41 AM
*Put your hope in God and know real blessing! Psalm 146:5
So glad to hear Jen is somewhat stabilized.
I love to sit and read the comments on the blog page, seeing all the people near and far that the page has touched. We continue to pray for you all.
Peace to you also.
Posted by: Randy, Shelley, Rachel and Chloe Huskins | January 30, 2007 at 07:54 AM
Chris and Jen,
I knew you were looking thin Chris but you sure don't need to be sick on top of it - get some rest and take care of yourself as I am sure Jan needs to do as well - you both will feel awful if you get sick and they won't let you in to be with Jen! I am so thankful for all the drugs they have to try and keep Jen comfortable. At the prayer vigil the other night all I could and can think is, "thy will be done" and try to quit asking "why" so much. Our prayers and thoughts of you all continue and thank you so much once again for keeping myself and I am sure more than 13000 others updated and informed, God Bless
Posted by: Laurie Henderson | January 30, 2007 at 08:03 AM
It is great to hear that Jen is still holding her own---what an amazing woman---I still pray for Jens body to take over and heal itself--You are all in my prayers each day.
Posted by: C. Baker | January 30, 2007 at 08:03 AM
Chris and Jen,
Your story has touch me in so many ways, Jen is amazing and strong. I am 23 years old and recently married and I could not imagine going through that with my husband and best friend, it has taught me not to take anything for granted and to enjoy each and everyday you have with everyone you love. You are both strong people and you will make it through. You are in my prayers!
Posted by: Ashley | January 30, 2007 at 08:12 AM
Hey Chris & Jan and Family. Jan it was so wonderful to get a little time to talk to you yesterday. I love you so much and think about you every minute of the day. I wanted to tell you that Regan made me a picture last night and brought it into me as I was heading to bed. It was a picture of a beautiful home with kids outside, snow, snow balls and a family watching all the kids. She told me "thank you Mommy for being so nice to be." I just looked at her and gave her a big hug and off she went to bed. That was you, Chris and Jen you see. I have learned to listen more intently, hug longer, laugh louder (if that is possible)and tell everyone that means something to me that I love them. That is your love and courage working through me to be more patient with my children. Thank you for your inspiration to be a better person. I love you all.
Posted by: Melodie Chrisman | January 30, 2007 at 08:20 AM
Chris, Jan, and Family,
What an inspiration Jen has been to us all. I can imagine her beauty still shines through and forever will. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you battle this tough time, and know that God is right there to guide you through. Cherish today.
Love,
Michelle Bambenek
(SJL and BSHS classmate and long time friend of the family)
Posted by: Michelle Bambenek | January 30, 2007 at 08:22 AM
Thinking of ya'll as always and sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.....I love you!!!!!
Posted by: Robin Velander | January 30, 2007 at 08:24 AM
Still on bended knee for you all.
Posted by: ~Another one touched by your story | January 30, 2007 at 08:26 AM
A friend passed your blog address to me, I have spent the last 4 days reading every page. You all are amazing! I am a nurse, somewhat hardened by the years of seeing so much, but your story touched be very deeply. I too will be passing your address along. Prayers to you all.
Posted by: Barbie P | January 30, 2007 at 08:28 AM
I continue to lift your family in prayer. I am glad to read abou the good days you are having with each other. You are an insperation to many people.
Posted by: Christy, TN | January 30, 2007 at 08:46 AM
Praying steadily for ease for all of you and health for Chris and Jan as they struggle for time with Jen and taking care of themselves.
Still praying for healing. God Bless you all. Dinah
Posted by: Dinah Wonderly | January 30, 2007 at 10:03 AM
13,000 hits thats so awesome. Chris and Jan get some rest and feel better! I know its probably easier said than done. I agree, Jen does look beautiful! Inside and out she has always been one of the most beautiful people I have ever met and she always will be! My prayers are with you. I love you all!
Posted by: Christol | January 30, 2007 at 11:11 AM
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. We have a mutual friend and he told me your family's story. I have read everything and have cried through out most of it!! I wish that I could say that I know your family, because now I feel as I do!! I want you all to know that you are such a symbol of strength, courage, love and forgiveness. I can honestly say that Jen is a hero. She is my hero. Please know that my family and I are praying for you all. Know that Jen is in good hands and take time for yourselves...Like someone else posted, you all need to be well for those beautiful girls and Jen!! Take care...
Posted by: Erin | January 30, 2007 at 12:23 PM
Jen,
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so glad that you are able to stay comfortable, it sounds like NKCH is taking great care of you. God Bless you and your family.
Posted by: Brooke Bonadonna (Knight) | January 30, 2007 at 12:33 PM
I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you guys...love you all!
Posted by: Leslie Peterson | January 30, 2007 at 01:11 PM
Jen- Every day you amaze me even more than the one before. You are such a strong person. I have never experience a miracle before, but you are a miracle to the whole family. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I want nothing but the best for you. You deserve the best.
Chris- Thank you so much for all of these updates. Every day when I wake up, this is the first thing I read. We all can see how much you truly love Jen. We all love her too.
With all my love,
~Steph Ireland
Posted by: Stephanie Ireland | January 30, 2007 at 01:51 PM
Chris and Jennifer
I was told of your story threw a friend of mine and yours. I went to highschool with Jennifer and I truly sorry to hear of this. I lost my father five months ago to the same thing and I have a small idea of you guys are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you and I would like to make a donation in Jennifers honor to the cancer society.
Posted by: Jessica Stevenson | January 30, 2007 at 02:14 PM
Like many others, Jen's blog address was sent to me by a friend. I used to go to high school with Jen and I remember swimming in the pool in her back yard. However, other than those few times we hung out through mutual friends, we were not close and have not spoken in years. But when I read this blog and her story, I too was moved to tears...tears that would not end. I just felt so sad and heartbroken for all of you. I cried for most of the day that day thinking of her and her husband and children and I thought, "What is wrong with me, I haven't even talked to any of these people in so many years". But I have come to realize that does not matter, I still feel so much compassion for all of you. I have prayed several times a day every day since then for Jen and her family and will continue to do so. Jen is such an inspiration to all of us and I feel so blessed to know her story. Thank you for sharing it. I wish you all peace during this difficult time.
Posted by: Morgan Conley | January 30, 2007 at 02:16 PM
Your story and your STRONG family has touched all of our hearts. may god's healing power touch jen and your family in this time of need! your in our thoughts and our prayers! God bless!
Posted by: NKCH 5th Floor | January 30, 2007 at 03:35 PM