Today Jen has slowly slipped into what seems a deep, deep sleep. As the day progressed she became more and more unresponsive. Early this morning she woke Jan by attempting to get out of bed, tonight we are lucky to get a slight nod of her head or squeeze of the hand. The slightest acknowledgment of our voices now gives us the greatest joy. Late this afternoon I was able to get a pucker out of her lips and a quick kiss. Emma visited this evening and spent some precious time in bed with her mom. Ever so slightly, Jen was able to show that she knew Emma was there. Our emotions are torn between heartache and relief. Heartache because we may have shared our last interactive moments with her. Relief because she no longer seems to have pain or discomfort. Slipping away may not seem an appropriate description for it, but at times that is certainly what it feels like.
We will continue to do everything we can to ensure she knows we are at her side and love her. I keep reminding myself that she never ceases to amaze me and I may roll over in the morning to her smiling and wondering aloud who the guests are on Regis and Kelly.
There was one bit of good news today. Some of you may remember me speaking of last year's visit with Dr. Henry Lynch at Creighton University. He is the founder of the gene mutations that cause hereditary colon cancers. A lab has been doing some genetic testing on Jen's blood and Dr. Lynch's nurse said that two of the three tests are complete and there is no evidence of a mutation thus far. This is potentially great news for Jen's brothers and our children. The final results should be in my hands sometime in February.
Here is a picture I came across today on my computer. It took me back to a time when cancer was the furthest thing from our minds. I know the message is strong without me even saying...but I'll do it anyway...Live and love like there is no tomorrow.
Chris and Jen - We are continuing to pray for you. I have been checking the blog daily to read the updates. We are happy to hear that Jen appears to be comfortable, and that Emma was able to spend some precious time with her tonight. Wonderful news about the gene mutation tests as well...I will tell you my story later, but it was a relief for me to find out that I didn't have gene mutations for Breast & Ovarian cancer (I was diagnosed w/breast cancer in Sep). Just knowing that my mom, sister & daughter weren't at risk w/what they know about the BRCA mutations right now was a relief. Even though we've never met Jen, I still think of her as family. Give her a big hug from us, and know that we are constantly thinking and praying for you all! You four hold a very special place in our hearts.
With love, Jeff, Leanne & Maryn
Posted by: Leanne, Jeff & Maryn Lusk (Bacon) | January 31, 2007 at 01:19 AM
Chris and Jen - we continue to be amazed at yor courage and strength and you are truly an inspiration to us all. I am glad that Jen i comfortable and peaceful and that you are able to spend these precious moments with her. I, like the thousands of others who read the posts on the blog, do not personally know you, but feel as if we do through reading your remarkable story. Sending you love and prayers across the Atlantic from Wales for the coming hours, days and weeks ahead. Love Dawn and Glyn x
Posted by: Dawn Thomas | January 31, 2007 at 01:28 AM
What a beautiful picture!
*Those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing with armloads of blessing, Psalm 126:6. That is my prayer for all of you. You have all been amazing during this time, grace and strength don't really describe it well~FAITHFUL or FAITH FIELD.
I continue to pass your blog address to everyone I know, and some I don't, and ask that they just take a sec to look, most come back to me moved to tears!, and promises to pray for Jen and all of you.
Sleep in peace Jen.
Posted by: Randy, Shelley, Rachel and Chloe Huskins | January 31, 2007 at 05:20 AM
We are praying constantly for all of you, and loving you with all of our hearts. Aunt Gail, Uncle Frank and Madeline
Posted by: gail jones | January 31, 2007 at 06:10 AM
God Bless you all. Jen is comfortable and that is a great thing. I'm glad Emma had some time with her. Be at peace and know that God is our strength. Still praying for healing for all involved. Thanks for your strength and keeping up with the blog. It is the first thing I check in the morning. Thank you again for your love and efforts.
dinah
Posted by: Dinah Wonderly | January 31, 2007 at 06:12 AM
Thinking of you and praying for you.
Lori
Posted by: Lori Bles | January 31, 2007 at 06:12 AM
On bended knee praying for God's grace to be upon you all.
Posted by: jan castle | January 31, 2007 at 06:43 AM
Praying for peace & comfort for Jen & your family. May God be with you & bless you today and always.
Jennifer
Posted by: Jennifer Teegarden MD | January 31, 2007 at 07:12 AM
May you be blessed with His love and presence. I'm so happy Jen is comfortable.Thoughts and prayers for all of you throughout each day.
Gods peace to all of you,
Ann
Posted by: Ann Hoffman | January 31, 2007 at 07:15 AM
keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless.
Posted by: Joanne | January 31, 2007 at 07:18 AM
Oh Chris and Jan & Family, I remember when my Mom seemed to be where Jen is and the Hospice Nurse I had, Joan, was so incredible. She told me to continue to talk with her, tell her stories, love on her. Sometimes I think I kissed her too much. She does know you are there loving her and giving her strength. I am sooooooo glad Emma got a chance to be with her Mommy for a while. I know it was hard for you all but once again your strength is amazing. I pray for peace and love and that God holds you all in his hands and guides you through these days. Peace be with you all.
Posted by: Melodie Chrisman | January 31, 2007 at 07:48 AM
Chris and Jen and family,
As we all pray, let us concentrate on the author of all life, Jesus, the High King of Heaven. In Him, is our trust and our salvation. Blessed be His Holy Name!
Love in the Messiah!
Peter Greenspan and family
Posted by: Peter Greenspan | January 31, 2007 at 07:59 AM
As always, I keep you in my thoughts throughout the days. I love thinking of the fun we had and that is what I will always remember-from the movie theater to margaritas. May your day be restful today. Shelby
Posted by: Shelby | January 31, 2007 at 08:04 AM
Just letting the family know, I and many others are praying that this time for your family is SO sweet, that Jen is pain free, and that you are all comforted and given God's peace. Obviously angels ARE here on earth with us. I know one of them is Jennifer.
* a stranger who is praying.
Posted by: Erin Pilant | January 31, 2007 at 08:15 AM
A friend passed along your blog page to me. It took me two days to read everything, but well worth it. I lost my grandfather four months ago to colon cancer. The only advice I would like to pass along that I learned is, the hearing is usually the last to go. So please keep talking to her! May God bless you and your family during this difficult time!
Posted by: Heather | January 31, 2007 at 08:23 AM
What a sweet blessing that Emma was able to spend some time with her mama. I don't have the words with me and I'm not sure if you're familiar with the song or not but if you get a chance to play the song "riding in cars" by snowpatrol, it makes me think of you guys everytime I hear it.
Love you so much!
Julie
Posted by: Julie Marriott | January 31, 2007 at 08:28 AM
I came upon your blog in my many adventures on the internet and instantly read your whole story in one afternoon. I laughed, I cried, I prayed for some peace and healing for your family. I just wanted to add my support to the list of others here and offer if there is anything I can do from cold Ohio, PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out. I can only imagine what you all are going through. Storming Heaven daily with prayers for all of you.
Posted by: Melissa | January 31, 2007 at 08:33 AM
Wow...thanks for the inspiration yet again. I have learned so much and from the two of you and am very thankful.
Thinking of each of you.
Posted by: Sarah Linford | January 31, 2007 at 08:36 AM
Good morning Chris...I have never met you, I am an old friend of Dennis and Jan's from the Kelso days. I remember when Jennifer was born and what a beautiful baby she was. I have recently heard about her illness and since have had all of you in my daily thoughts and prayers. I pray God's graces to be with you both and for Him to give you strength. Please tell Jan and Dennis that they are also in my prayers. Kathy Schlosser
Posted by: Kathy Schlosser | January 31, 2007 at 08:38 AM
We have never met, intentionally at least (I used to live in the KC area), but I just wanted to say that you and your family's story has really touched our hearts. I just wanted you to know that we are praying for you and your family down here in AR.
With love and peace,
Kelly
Posted by: Kelly McQueen | January 31, 2007 at 08:40 AM
What a beautiful couple you are! Praying that God and Jennifer will be near to you always...you have so many friends praying for you both and the girls at St. John's.
Posted by: Marilyn | January 31, 2007 at 08:53 AM
Chris:
Your strength and courage continues to amaze me as does Jan and Jen's. The way in which you are able to continue to keep all of us posted on what is going on while being the husband and father you need to be is an inspiration. I talked with Jan yesterday and also continue to be amazed at her calmness and strength. I pray that God will continue to give each of you peace and comfort and the continued strength you will each need through this. Know that we love all of you!
Bill Carr
Posted by: Bill Carr | January 31, 2007 at 09:01 AM
Hi Chris, I have been reading your blogger and have been so inspired by all the battles you're facing now. I had stomach surgery last year and kind of relate to alot of the tx she has had. Someday those little girls will know what a brave woman their mother is and how lucky they are to have so much love in your family. Take care, praying for you at St John's Health Ministry.........Linda Olson
Posted by: Linda Olson | January 31, 2007 at 09:17 AM
Chris and Jennifer,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Posted by: Sarah Kreimer | January 31, 2007 at 09:22 AM
Although I don't know your family personally, you and Jen seem to have the faces of a great friend. You seem to be a great rock for your and Jen's family and friends. "You have cancer" were words you probably never expected to hear, like most of us. I belong to one of the greatest organizations-American Cancer Society. I am involved in the Relay for Life each year. It is because of those that we have lost and those that face this battle every day with bravery that I know we will one day find a cure for cancer. God bless you and your family...my prayers are with you.
Posted by: Sharmin | January 31, 2007 at 09:28 AM