Just a couple of quick thoughts...

I write a lot about what we've done, what we are doing, and what's coming up, but I don't often give you an emotional update. I'm watching an old Goo Goo Dolls concert on TV and maybe it was the song Iris that sparked a tear and compelled me to talk about it. Anyway, all in all I'm doing well. Somebody told me a little while back that the fourth and fifth months following the loss of a loved one are the hardest. I'm starting to agree with that theory. I really do gain a lot of comfort knowing Jen is with our Lord, so I think the difficulties recently are a result of a some fatigue and the occasional feeling of being a "lost soul." I think keeping busy can help get you through the days and weeks, but it can also wear you down. I'm not sure that I can explain the "lost soul" feeling real well with words. I guess it's a loss of direction or moments of desperation because you have no clue what the future holds. Sometimes I catch myself hoping things will be back to normal soon, but then I remind myself that this is our new normal. I'm sure all these feelings are common and I have no doubt that time will bring healing. Our lives will proceed and the foundation will become so successful that thoughts of Jen will bring a smile more often than a tear.

Comments

[Jan Velander]

I echo Chris' thoughts in that I was told too that the next few months would be the hardest. I'm finding that to be so true. You'd think a person would run out of tears, but I'm not finding that so much. Jen's memories surround our families with her personal decorating touches, her tv shows she watched, songs on the radio, Ann Taylor and other stores, movies, thunderstorms, bugs, etc., and most importantly, the beautiful faces and personalities of Emma and Peighton. These precious girls are a perfect blend of Jen and Chris. They are a daily reminder of the love between my daughter and the love of her life, my son-in-law, Chris. Their love affair was cut too short and we'll just have to wait to know the reason why. I too draw comfort in knowing Jen is safe, out of pain, and in the arms of our Lord. That doesn't mean I miss her any less though or understand why Emma and Peighton had to lose their mommy and Chris, his wife or me, my daughter.
This "new normal" will take some adjusting time. In the mean time, I know that I look forward to each and every post because I know when you write you are remembering our Jen and that keeps her alive in all of our hearts. So thank you for your comments, your thoughts, prayers and support.
I pray for the success of The Jennifer Ireland Foundation and for our tears of sorrow to turn to tears of gratitude because Jen's Foundation will be helping others.
God bless you all with good health, good fortune and much love,
Jan
p.s. I love you Jen and miss you with all of my heart.

[Heather]

Chris & Jan-
Thank you both for sharing your journey with us all. You both have given so many people strength. I continue to check the blog daily. Continue to keep up all you are doing for Jen, Emma and Peighton.

[Kim]

I also check the blog daily, and I'm still amazed by the strength of Chris, Jan and the girls. Jen must be so proud to have you all to keep her memory alive and her spirit strong. You are in my prayers. I know that things will only get easier with time.

[Melodie Chrisman]

Chris & Jan, You both know how I feel about you cause I tell you all the time how much I care and cherish having you in my life. I see your pain sometimes and I wish I could just take it all away. You both are very strong people who amaze me everyday in your ability to get going. You could have made very different choices to not continue to honor Jen or live your life with purpose. Both of you do that!!!!! Em and P are very lucky to have you both. Love you bunches.

[alicia]

Chris, Jan and family,

I was just returning from lunch and heard Tough on the radio. Wow, everyone is so right that that song is very fitting for Jen as well as all of you. Even though I don't know you personally, I feel that I have known your family for a long time through reading the blogs. God bless you all and I pray that each day will become a little easier. Just remember "if he brings you to it, he will bring you through it."

[Marcie Mason]

I now know for sure that Jen was an amazing person. I never had the chance to meet her but I am sure I would have loved her. I say this because you Chris and Jan are two terrific people and to blend with the two of you I know she was special because both of you are. Thank you both so much for keeping us in touch with everything from the Foundation to your daily lives. You both are awesome. Keep up the wonderful job with the precious sweeties. My prayers are with you all.

[sue]

Hang in there Chris. I know God has many plans for you. ((((U)))

[Allyson Ellis]

Chris and Jan - we have never met - but I feel like I know you all so well. I learned of your blog from Shawndra Turners blog.

You are both amazing people and I am constantly uplifted by your courageousness (is that a word?). Time does heal - but it certainly takes awhile. I lost my father 3 years ago Fathers Day (he actually passed on Father's day) after he had a very short illness. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him - or wish he was still here. But I know that our precious Lord needed someone special up in heaven - and he is watching over us every day just as Jen is.

My thoughts are with you all constantly. Thank you so much for giving us a glimpse into your daily life. You are both truly an inspiration!

Chris - Happy Father's Day

Allyson Ellis

[Jennifer]

Chris

Happy Father's Day! Enjoy the day. It is much deserved. I am sure that Jennifer is celebrating in heaven that she found such a wonderful man to father her children. You are truly a inspiration to all. Hang in there. My prayers are still with you and your wonderful family.

[Sarah Hunter]

Jen will always be remembered as a wonderful wife, a loving mother, a special, one of a kind daughter, sister and friend. No one will ever know why her life was cut short, we just have to believe that God has his misterious reasons of how he works. I am so glad you all are doing well. Stay strong and please find confort in knowing that Jen is in great loving arms of our Lord, Jesus Christ and will never be forgotten as a beautiful soul. You guys are doing a marvelous job keeping jens soul alive.

[Sarah Hunter]

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY CHRIS. YOU ARE A SPECIAL, ONE OF A KIND FATHER! I HOPE YOU HAVE A MEMORABLE DAY WITH YOUR PRECIOUS DAUGHTERS!

[Catherine Franssens]

Chris and Jan,
I haven't experienced anything like what the two of you have or are today. However, your constant blogging and sharing on this site are helping prepare me for something that God has planned for me. Maybe not myself, but maybe someone I love. I'm not sure, but I know that God's plans are best and that He has shown me your lives for a special reason. Please keep sharing your thoughts, events, pictures, joys and pains, and memories of Jenn. Your time and effort are a wonderful blessing to me everyday. Peace to you both.